Cohabitation
by Woody K
Summary: Yoshi and Birdo had nightmares about losing each other, first caused by the Honeylune Ridge incident. Birdo decided to move in to debunk the online rumors that caused aforementioned nightmares. Now they started living together to make people know they were wrong. Request from ultimateCCC.
1. Chapter 1

One morning, Yoshi and Birdo both woke up in their homes, simultaneously screaming, "NO!"

It happened again, they both had the same nightmare, the one where there were two versions of one dino callously leaving the other, leaving the other devastated. Yoshi's involved Birdo leaving him, Birdo's involved Yoshi leaving her. It stemmed from online rumors that they were dumping each other. They couldn't take it anymore, they had to get them off their back once and for all.

In Yoshi's house, the green one would watch Mario and Peach fight like spoiled brats ever since the moon incident. After the messy rejection, Peach almost abandoned Mario and then said nasty things to him ever since trip home. They would argue, blame and even shout at each other since, constantly shrieking the words, "I hate you!"

Everyone else saw it all go down and used the dysfunction to fuel rumors of other breakups. Targets of those rumors included but were not limited to Luigi and Daisy, Toad and Toadette, Wario and Mona, Donkey Kong and Candy Kong, and Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong. It went way beyond Mario canon too, with rumors involving various Nintendo couples. The whole internet believed if Mario and Peach's relationship could not last, what could?

In addition to Mario and Peach treating each other like the bane of their existence and acting like sibling that vehemently despised each other because they had to share their parents, there were even instances of them trying to injure and kill each other in public. This resulted in police officers having to constantly apprehend them and Toadsworth angrily having them both grounded.

Yoshi tried to help Birdo get her mind off of it and vice versa. They tried a relaxing stroll through the park, but noticed another breakup between two people they never knew, which only worsened the situation. They left in a panic and tried relaxing on the beach, but the same thing happened again, making them even more nervous. Not even in a fancy restaurant were they spared from the dreadful sight of a nasty arguement and threats of abandonment. It seemed several men and women stormed out to leave their exes, the dinos couldn't take it anymore, they snapped and bolted out of the restaurant, screaming in sheer terror.

Back at Yoshi's house, they were both on the verge of contemplating suicide, but then Yoshi had an idea, "Birdo, why don't you move into my place?"

"How do I know it will work?"

"Everyone will see just how strong our bond is. They will then realize how wrong they are about everything."

"It seems like a wonderful idea! I'll get a moving truck and move in immediately!"

They embraced, their plan coming into fruition. The next morning, Birdo got a moving truck, packed up her stuff and moved into Yoshi's house. Their plans to shoot down and put an end to the rumors were underway. As they lived an everyday couple life, they were slowly but surely getting more and more internet users to take back their false claims.


	2. Chapter 2

Ever since they started living together, they gradually persuaded more and more people that they would not leave each other. The false rumors online were deleted, post by post, but some were still persistent.

It was tax season, Yoshi was looking at his tax forms and asked Birdo, "Do you mind checking these forms? I don't want to be accused of tax fraud again."

"Sure, let's see what we've got."

Birdo looked it over, noticed some things and said, "I see what happened, there's a few math mistakes."

"Which ones?"

"Carrying a 0, adding, subtracting, deductibles, some numbers are wrong."

"Oh."

"Let's fix them, then people will see that you really care about the government."

Yoshi managed to revise his tax forms with Birdo's help, making the end result look much less fraudulent. Birdo said, "Why don't we upload online it for evidence? Just in case some people don't believe us."

"Good idea."

A few hours after his taxes were completed, rumors of his tax fraud were completely deleted, freeing him from his unintentional fraudulence of taxing. He was even given a tax refund of 500 coins, Yoshi suggested, "Why don't we celebrate with dinner? My treat."

"I know just the place."

Before they left, they looked online for rumors of them leaving each other. Right now, progress looked good for them since, more posts were deleted, but at least a dozen remained.


	3. Chapter 3

Yoshi and Birdo indulged in the fanciest restaurant in New Donk City, wearing fancy clothes and ordering some fancy food and dessert to boot. They posted themselves having a good time, which managed to get some of those remaining stubborn people online to leave them alone, but one person remained and admitted he started the rumors, saying bluntly that it is impossible to make him stop becuase nothing will convince him that they would not leave each other.

Birdo grunted, "Nothing, huh?"

Yoshi narrowed his eyes, "We'll show him."

They paid the bill, which was 200 coins. They made it back to Yoshi's house, walked into the bedroom, used the camera on their phone to film and got on the bed. With Birdo's eyes locked on Yoshi's, she reached for him. Yoshi gasped Birdo's felt his cock in her hand. He looked down at her hand wrapped around his shaft, her pink hand stark against his green body. Yoshi eased her backwards and Birdo sat on the edge of the desk before swinging her legs up and turning, stretching out with her arms above her head,her fingers gripping the edge of the bed. He moved between her legs, sliding his hands along her thighs, groaning as she let her legs fall open and her pussy stared back at him, naked and wet.

Yoshi pulled her towards him and drove his cock into Birdo, who moaned, needing to be fucked hard and not wanting to wait. He slid his hands under her ass, lifting her, pulling her onto his driving cock, fucking her with her balls slapping against her ass as Yoshi held her and drove his cock into her, deeper, harder and faster. Her back was arched, Birdo noticed her knuckles were white as she grip the bed edge above her head that was rocking from side to side. She stifled her screams as she came. Yoshi fucked her through it all, trying to help her relax and plunging his cock into her, only stopping when his own cum erupted from him, then he drive into Birdo one last time, holding his cock deep inside her as his torrent of cum mixed with the juices flooding from her. They gasped for breath, his cock still inside her.

His cock slipped from her and for a moment, Yoshi could see a trickle of his cum and her juices sliding towards her ass. He looked at his cock, hard again and shiny with cum and juices. Birdo was now straddling him, holding his cock before dropping down onto him. This time, she took control, riding his cock, her hands on his chest. She slid her body forward, letting his cock almost fall from her before pushing back, taking his cock back inside her. His hips pushed up, meeting her movements and driving her deeper. She sat up, her arms behind her, resting on her legs as he drove his cock into her, her body riding his cock, meeting her thrusts, grinding against him, her body alive with pleasure.

He grabbed her hips, pulling her down onto his cock as she rid him as he fucked her. Their hot flesh slapped together, the bed was creaking, his cock was reaching deeper as her pussy moulded around him, taking and wanting him. Her orgasm exploded deep inside her, shockwaves flashing through her and her body was on fire and she covered her mouth as she started to exclaim, his cock pumping cum into her. They fucked each other as their climaxes crashed together.

Finally, they were tired. They posted the sex video online, hoping it would finally get the last guy to stop. It was taking a little while for him to respond.


	4. Chapter 4

The guy said he was not convinced and believed it was fake, this made them angry. Yoshi thought about bombarding with death threats, but Birdo calmed him down and suggested, "How about we try again on the biggest stage we can find?"

"Which one is that?"

They went to the theater in New Donk City Hall. They spent a lot of coins to rent it out, requested Mayor Pauline to fill up the theater by any means necessary and hire some cameramen to film everything and then post it online afterwards.

With Birdo's eyes locked on Yoshi's, she reached for him. Yoshi gasped Birdo's felt his cock in her hand. He looked down at her hand wrapped around his shaft, her pink hand stark against his green body. Yoshi eased her backwards and Birdo sat on the edge of the desk before swinging her legs up and turning, stretching out with her arms above her head,her fingers gripping the edge of the bed. He moved between her legs, sliding his hands along her thighs, groaning as she let her legs fall open and her pussy stared back at him.

Yoshi pulled her towards him and drove his cock into Birdo and slid his hands under her ass, lifting her, pulling her onto his driving cock, fucking her with her balls slapping against her ass as Yoshi held her and drove his cock into her, deeper, harder and faster. Her back was arched, Birdo noticed her knuckles were white as she grip the bed edge above her head that was rocking from side to side. Yoshi fucked her through the orgasm, trying to help her relax and plunging his cock into her, only stopping when his own cum erupted from him, then he drive into Birdo one last time, holding his cock deep inside her as his torrent of cum mixed with the juices flooding from her.

His cock slipped from her and for a moment, Yoshi saw a trickle of his cum and her juices sliding towards her tail. He looked at his cock, hard again and shiny with cum and juices. Birdo was now straddling him, holding his cock before dropping down onto him. This time, she took control, riding his cock and sliding her body forward, letting his cock almost fall from her before pushing back, taking his cock back inside her. His hips pushed up, meeting her movements and driving her deeper. She sat up, her arms behind her, resting on her legs as he drove his cock into her, her body riding his cock, meeting her thrusts, grinding against him, her body alive with pleasure.

He grabbed her hips, pulling her down onto his cock as she rid him as he fucked her. Their hot flesh slapped together, the bed was creaking, his cock was reaching deeper as her pussy moulded around him, taking and wanting him. However, just as their orgasm exploded deep inside them, one guy in the crowd yelled, "STOP! PLEASE! IT'S TOO MUCH!"

The dinos shot back, "This is for a good cause."

"I ADMIT! I STARTED THE RUMORS!"

They asked, "Who are you? Show yourself!"

The guy showed himself, his presence and admittance caused the whole crowd to gasp loudly, Yoshi and Birdo were extremely shocked at who it was...


	5. Chapter 5

The person revealing himself shocked everyone, it was...Mario.

Yoshi was dumbfounded, "Mario, why? Why did you do this?"

Mario grumbled, "To make everyone suffer the same pain that I had shoved down my throat. People kept mocking and taunting me over the whole incident and it was just too much to handle, so I figured I'd make them stop attacking me by making them attack each other. I made the false rumors to destroy love everywhere I could. 99% of people affected by them seemed to turn on each other like animals, but you and Birdo are that 1% that seem to have an unbreakable bond."

Birdo asked, "Are you sorry about lies you spread online?"

Mario said, "Well yes, but I'm more sorry for driving you both to fuck live on TV. I would have just settled for the first sex video, but I was in too much emotional pain caused a certain brat whose name I dare not mention to think straight."

Yoshi and Birdo asked, "So you'll stop?"

"Yes...but while those cameras are still filming, maybe I can finally get a point across..."

The disgraced red plumber walked to the stage, turned to the cameras and said, "To everyone at the Mushroom Kingdom, I QUIT!"

Everyone gasped, Mario continued, "I give and give and give, only to be repaid with selfishness and neglect. That fact I have almost died countless times saving your skins, but am forced to deal with ingratitude in the end is what puts the nail in the coffin. This is why everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom, especially Peach, will have no say in the matter when I say MY SERVICE ENDS NOW!"

Yoshi asked, "Don't you think maybe you're overreacting?"

Mario snorted, "Peach didn't think she was overreacting when she tried to steal my ship, leave me to die and act like a such a bitch to me ever since! That is not acceptable and I am done with her new unsympathetic personality! GOOD LORD, SHE PUTS THE PATHETIC IN UNSYMPATHETIC!"

He angrily pointed at the camera, yelling, "I've made my decision clear, Peach! If you're not going to apologize for all the torment you've made me suffer, you are no longer my responsibility. I didn't want any of this sadness at all. It is totally not what I wanted. I mean, fuck you, we're not even going to be friends, because rescuing you is officially a total waste of time. I mean, you went out of your way to have millions of people disrespect me, so you know what? I'm moving away, effective immediately and it's all thanks to you, cause if it weren't for you being such an ass, I wouldn't see what an awful world this is and how little people really care about me."

Birdo said, "OK, you can stop now."

Mario furiously continued ranting, "This world doesn't give a shit about me and it has been explicitly stated that you only love yourself. I don't even care because I don't even have anything to say to you because you won't hurt about this, you'll be over this by tomorrow. I will never see anything that shows you're even hurt by this or you even care! I'm going to go ahead and cut ties with such a death trap of a kingdom. I'm gonna be happy once I'm freed from my prison back there and I'm gonna move on with my life, with or without you in it. I also know for a fact that you're gonna be doing the same thing in five minutes, if you're not kidnapped again. I mean, I'd recommend talking to someone about that. You should probably call up an institution, therapy or something because you're gonna be doing the same thing in five seconds. I bet you I will never be mentioned again by you. You're not gonna be upset. You're not gonna do anything. I bet that all you're gonna do is be like, 'Oh, who the hell was Mario? I have a new hero called...' I don't even care anymore. I. Do. Not. Care. I'm going bye-bye. I'm gonna be happy once I'm outta there, so you know what, Ms. Gold Digger? Go do whatever because you know what, just fuck you, you're just gonna get rid of everyone in the universe because you've already shown me that, sooo…have fun taunting me about finding a new slave or punching bag that you'll undoubtedly drive away in another 32 years. DO YOU HEAR ME?! I AM DONE! CONSIDER YOURSELF ENEMY-ZONED!"

The crowd gasped, the Mushroom Kingdom residents were particularly devastated by his decision to leave forever. The people just sat in shock as Mario stormed out of the theater to pack up, move away from the Mushroom Kingdom and never return.


	6. Chapter 6

Yoshi and Birdo watched as Mario packed up, got a moving truck and left the Mushroom Kingdom forever. The residents of the Mushroom Kingdom were too distraught by his angry farewell speech to make him reconsider. Mario threw away all the going away presents they gave him, he thought they were mostly bombs sent by Peach to murder him. Some were cakes, but he assumed Peach had them all poisoned to kill him.

When Luigi, Daisy, Rosalina, Toad, Toadette and Toadsworth said that Peach was more saddened that Mario thought, the red plumber simply scoffed and claimed she would forget his name and recover so quickly their heads would spin.

Once the moving truck was full and his house was empty, Mario thought about living the life of a slacker in Bubblaine. When he got there, he bought a condo and did nothing all day, every day.

The dinos looked online and saw no more rumors, Yoshi asked, "Well, now that people aren't bothing us anymore, you want your house back? No one has bought it yet."

"I suppose. I'll see you around. Thanks for the help."

"You too. If you'd like, I can convince Nintendo to add you in Crafted World."

"It's fine. It's probably too late for that anyways."

Birdo packed up and was about to call a moving truck. Suddenly, their phones buzzed like crazy. Now they were being bombarded with rumors about killing each other, started by another user online. This frustrated them like crazy, Yoshi and Birdo growled, "Not again!"

Seeing this, Birdo decided to extend her stay, she cancelled the moving truck and unpacked her bags as Yoshi and Birdo sighed in annoyance, "Here we go again."

THE END?


End file.
